Wednesday 10 October 2007

Q of the week: Who do I miss?

Well as Indilwen, I miss my father. I never knew what it was like to grow up with a father and even more I feel I am missing my elven roots. I never will know the stories and lessons my father would have taught me and that feels like a part of me is missing.

As Ali, I miss my mum of course. It's 20 years since she passed and as I get closer to the age at which she died I appreciate her and understand her a lot more than I did at 24.
Of course, like Father Quont's scribe, I also miss my granny, however, since she lived to 87 it doesn't feel so much like unfinished business and whilst I miss having her around, I feel she had a long happy healthy life. She made a huge difference in the lives of people around her and I was very very lucky to have even known her, never mind have inherited some genes from such a special person and hope I have inherited some of her traits.
I also miss someone that I pushed away whilst my mum was ill and wasn't taking things very well. I know you can never go down the path you didn't take but sometimes I feel he was my soulmate, I just couldn't communicate anything with anyone at that time and wanted to be left alone. On the other hand I do believe that "what is for you won't go by you" so possibly he wasn't. You have to be philosophical about that stuff don't you?

4 comments:

ND/Botr said...

Very nice response and reflective in both answers.

J.F. Posthumus said...

Very true...though perhaps he had troubled thoughts and feelings as well. Tis hard to say when looking back on the past.

I pushed my beloved away five years ago and he told me, when I contacted him again, he should have come after me but was afraid of my reaction. lol, he didn't let me get away from him the second time!!!

Perhaps you could email him? Or write or call just to say hello? That's what I did and we are now un-officially engaged...~glances at ring on left hand~ ok, unofficial in the "we haven't planned a thing yet" kind of way.

You'll never know for certain until you try. Unless of course he's currently married...then that might get messy....though you might end up with a friend.

The worse thing that can happen is he ignores you.

Indilwen Elensar said...

I think it's been too long now - 20 years, a lifetime really. Even if it was possible to track him down...
I believe in fate so if something was meant to be I would have bumped into him before now.
Still, new life chapters beckon and you never know what is in store for you! There is no time for regrets, life is just too short.

J.F. Posthumus said...

soooo true! And I'm like you, I believe in Fate also...but then, I also blame a lot on the Fates (Greek mythology) too. Or rather, I yell and scream at them for a lot of stuff that happens or doesn't happen, lol.

And you're right; life IS too short to live on regrets...more fun to keep the grudges! ;-)